Look, no one is perfect (not even you, Michelle with the flawless complexion and expensive heels that you know how to walk in and everything). And that’s really okay. What’s not okay is sitting back, accepting things as they are, and just being “imperfect” with no intention of evolving. I get the struggle: I went through periods of numbness and not caring and just existing, almost outside of my body. Sometimes you don’t want to, don’t care, don’t have the motivation. That’s all right, but give yourself a chance. Be hard on yourself.
Three reasons why you should try
- As I’ve talked about before, you need to be sympathetic with yourself… but after a certain number of weeks/months of self-pity and sitting around waiting for change, you gotta be the one taking action.
- Do you want to end up being thirty and wondering where your twenties went? I read a book about being in your twenties (The defining Decade) and one of the things that stuck with me is that you have to know where you want to be in your thirties in order to take action in your twenties. So think ahead! And don’t limit it to your twenties, take that lesson into all of your decades: To make it to your next step/goal, you have to be actively preparing for it. There will be good days and bad, but just keep going.
- Also from The Defining Decade is the idea that the thing that messes us up the most in life is the picture of how things are “supposed” to be. Excuse my french but f*ck that mentality. Do what you need to do to get where you want to be, not where you think you should be. Sooo what I’m saying is, you should be hard on yourself because you need to get real about what your thing is.
Three suggestions for how to be hard on yourself
- Get real about your thing. Hi, you read the third reason above, right? Yeah, your first order of business here is to figure out what you want your business to be. Ignore what Jenny from the block is doing and peek at yourself. Have you been wasting the past few years going through the motions but not getting any closer to your goal?
- If you’ve been wasting time, stop! Easier said than done, so take small steps (see second suggestion).
- If you don’t have a goal, go find it!
- Take baby steps, or in-utero steps. If you want to quit your day job and open a bakery, stop talking about it and start researching. Dedicate half an hour a day (or every other day, if you want to start smaller) to researching what you need to do. Then start building a business plan and mission. Take your research and lay out how to make it happen.
- Balance it all. The good and bad days, the lazy days and productive ones. Let yourself have both. I’m not so good with exercising, but think of it like how workout guru’s talk: Everything in moderation. You’re not going to stop pitying yourself or wasting time in one day. That’s fiiine. If you like watching TV after work and don’t feel like working on your dream, don’t hate yourself for it. Work on your dream for an hour and then watch TV, or alternate days between what you want right now and what you want for your future.
It’s hard to find the right guidance out here on the World Wide Web, but take this article into consideration and find a way to get closer to your dreams, whether that takes weeks or years. Do it your way, but do it.